It's been a few years since I've been on an online dating site.
While some things are the same (including some of the members), it's quite a different world.
Take for example, the MILF profile picture (see above left). This did not exist when I was last trying to find true love through the interwebz.
I found it this week (The MILF pic, not true love). And it changed my life.
And my own dating profile pic (see below right).
If you don't know what a MILF is, or my responding DILF pic, well, it's ok. Just let it go (this means you mom and dad).
If you do know what a MILF is, you'll realize that it's a bit of a shock to see a woman advertise this fact on her dating profile pic.
But hey, I'm pretty sure the DILF pic is going to win me points with JUST the type of woman that will make for interesting future blog entries. So I see it as a win-win.
Another thing changed. Apparently there are a lot more men out there who are unemployed, have no car, and live in their parents' basement.
Because EVERY single profile for women has the following verbiage: "If you are unemployed, have no car, and live in your parents' basement, DO NOT CONTACT ME!"
So I added it to my profile.
I'm picturing some woman who is unemployed, has no car, and lives in her parents' basement reading my profile, falling madly in love, then seeing that last line in my profile and realizing her dreams have been shattered.
Also, I'm astonished at the rise of cleavage pics as the main profile.
For the record, I wrote "astonished," not "offended." I approve of this change.
I'm also seeing far fewer profile pictures that include a shot with the woman and her pet, or just her pet alone.
I applaud the single online dating women of the world for learning that a guy isn't there to date your pet. How about you let them meet your stinky ferret in person to decide if it's ok with them?
And another odd change. Significantly more single women love to get on the open road and get their motorcycle chubby on. Which I fully applaud. That's awesome, truly.
But I can't ever see myself dating a woman with a hog. Mostly because since I don't have one, I know I'll probably have to wear the "I'm The Bitch That Fell Off The Back Of The Bike" t-shirt.
All kidding aside, the biggest change this time around has been that the women are much more aggressive than even just a few years ago.
It used to be weeks would go by without anyone contacting me. Meanwhile, most women will tell you they are constantly bombarded with emails from creepy, horny men. I always hope they don't include me in that group when they talk about them. But they probably do.
But now, for some reason, many more women are making the initial contact. And on a much more frequent basis. I haven't even really settled back in, and I'm finding myself poked and prodded. Wait, what?
Oh WAIT, I know the reason they're contacting me now!
It's because unlike a few years ago...I'm not unemployed, without a car, wondering if I'd have to move into my parents' basement.