Wednesday, March 17, 2010

You farkin' fork in the road!


Anyone close to me knows this: I suck at making decisions. Really suck.

Actually, let me clarify that - I can and have made great decisions, I just take forever to get there. I'm one of those ruminaters. I ponder. And ponder some more. And some more.

Last weekend was a prime example of this. I had originally planned to attend a wedding in Iowa City. Then I hit a financial speed bump, and had decided not to go. Then a few friends who were also going tried to convince me it would be a good time, and they'd take a rain check from me on the costs of the weekend.

It took me over 3 days to sit on that one before I finally, two hours before I had to leave for Iowa City, decided to go. I'm so damn glad I did, as I had an incredible time with friends, and soothed my soul through making some new fun stories and laughing quite a bit in the process, but we'll save that for a future blog.

So before me right now is one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make. To move or not to move.

My ex-wife and I have been talking off and on for the last few years about the fact that we aren't necessarily in our "ideal" spot in terms of where we live. Without getting into the mundane details of school district rankings and the voting tendencies of various Twin Cities suburbs, let's just say I have yet to find a place in the Twin Cities that feels like "home."

Add into this the fact that she is wanting to move so she can be closer to her boyfriend she has been seeing off and on for 3 years or so.

So...while I'm not exactly in love with my current apartment, or my current social life in the suburb I reside in, it comes down to what is best for my kids.

I have never in my life been so torn. The last time I made a similar decision, to leave two great jobs, a dream house, and an incredible social life in Iowa City to move to Minnesota (if you aren't real quick on the uptake, it's where the "Tundra Prisoner" idea for this blog's title comes from ;) ).

My kids have all of their friends here. They are both doing very well in school. If you ask both of them, neither one wants to move.

At the same time, the older they get, the more pressure will be on them academically. And they can presume they won't be making any varsity sports teams unless they plan to be signing a National letter of intent to a major university.

I've done the cost/benefit analysis, the pro's vs. con's list, I've flipped coins, and prayed to St. Ronald, the patron saint of wisdom, but at the end of the day, my mind is frozen on what to do.

So the farkin' fork in the road is one I'm not ready to decide upon just yet. I think I'll go read some Robert Frost while I try to make a decision.

1 comment:

Miclaundry said...

We moved a lot when I was a kid. And look what it did to me! There were some tough lessons I had to learn, but they were good ones. I moved before 3rd grade, 6th grade, and 7th grade, then ended up going thousands of miles away to college. I think the disruption was difficult, but challenging in a good way. But if I had to make the decision about my own kids... I'd be tempted to stay put. But there are benefits you can't foresee and won't be realized until you make the decision, either way. At the very least, you've got a bunch of friends who may try to lure you to their town, but in the end they've got your back regardless of where you choose to live. You'll feel better once the decision is made, that I'm sure of. I'm a ruminator as well, always second guessing. But when I've made a decision and set things in motion, it seems to get easier. Five cents please. :)